Following Directions..Yes Or No?

by / Thursday, 10 April 2014 / Published in Latest posts

 

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Stop reading this right now. OK start reading again. GOTCHA…You didn’t follow my directions. How do I know this because you’re still reading. So now that I have you, ask yourself why you are still reading this.Why did you click on this link? Why are you on this website? Why do you even care what I have to say? I’ll tell you why..

You want to purchase something on the shop page. That’s why you’re reading this. That’s why you clicked the link. That is also why you are on this website. Now some “hater” is probably saying “Nope, not me.” Wait did I just say “hater?” I never say that, but I guess its justified this one time.

My name is Geoffrey Johnson and I am the owner-operator and so many other things of Stout Apparel. I’m just a regular guy who came up with an idea for a shirt. I live in a modest house, and I drive a modest car. So why on Earth would you care about what I have to say? Why are you still reading? What has drawn you into my web of words?

My name is Geoffrey Johnson and I’m your friend. Sure you may not know me, but act like you do. Send me an email. Don’t call me, because I don’t pick up the phone. Tell me your birthday and I’ll send you a card. I’m the friend who makes you think. I’m the friend who encourages you. I’m the friend who helps you look at things from a different angle. I’m the friend that will never get mad or offend you. If you’ve ever seen me at a trade show, convention, in the streets or anywhere I try to speak to everyone and I even smile. I’m not a smiling person. You can call it customer service or you can call it being “friendly” if you like.

Has anyone met Victoria? And what exactly is her secret? Do Betty Crocker and Sara Lee get along in real life? What if Oscar Mayer is a vegetarian? These are questions you may never get the answer to. I can answer any and every question you have, because I make myself available. Although you may not have gotten to meet me in real life, my words are a reflection of my world and I’m inviting you in. I’m am a real person, and I’m your friend. I just need 1 thing from you.

A purchase.

I need you to make a purchase so that I can continue to entertain and inspire you with my words.

I need you to make a purchase so that I can continue to fill the space you’ve allotted for me every Thursday.

I need you to make a purchase to keep me off the corner with a sign that says “Will fight for food.”(Only a true friend would fight for you)

I need you to make a purchase because I work d*mn hard at this, and I will not quit, even if I only sell 1 shirt every six months to a little old stout lady in Iceland.

I need you to make a purchase because I’m an average guy, but I’m an above average friend. If you don’t believe me ask any of my friends and they will tell you.

So if you followed my initial directions and stopped reading then I’m wasting my time typing this line.

If you didn’t follow my directions..GREAT!  Rule breakers I see. So in that case I don’t want you to click on the shop page. I don’t want you to add a shirt or two or three to your shopping cart. I don’t want you to make me go visit my friends at the post office. I don’t want you to enjoy what you’ve purchased from me. (You see what I did there?)

 

Geoffrey Johnson

Owner-Operator Stout Apparel

geoffrey@stoutapparel.com

 

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